Omake #10 – The Epic Tales of Kimberly TV Summaries

The hit TV series, The Epic Tales of Kimberly, caused a great deal of controversy when it was first aired in Sniperville, and many concerned parents attempted to boycott the show, claiming that the show “promoted values of honor, integrity and love” which they believed were corrupting their children. Indeed, a great deal of the parents had killed their children in order to protect them from the influence of the show, and for a while, it seemed as if The Epic Tales of Kimberly would be canceled. However, the studio responsible for the creation of the series, Studio Snips, assured people that The Epic Tales of Kimberly would not compromise the values that parents had taught their children to grow up with. And with that, a disaster was averted. This controversy caused The Epic Tales of Kimberly to become highly exposed to the Sniperville media, giving it a wide coverage that it could not have gained by itself. Now, with the second season, The Epic Tales of Kimberly: Resolution finished and a third season, The Epic Tales of Kimberly: Redemption, as well as a spin-off, Aron Resurrection, and a movie deal in the works, The Epic Tales of Kimberly is a household name that no one is without.

Episode 1 – The Epic Pilot
A once peaceful world, now taken over by an evil entity who seeks to destroy it to fund his fast food franchise. Kimberly, a young man, decides to go on an epic journey to defeat the Dark Lord Jim Bob Diggory, but must convince his parents to allow him to go. Realizing that no sane parent would allow a child to go fight an evil god, Kimberly slaughters his parents, while proclaiming his love for them.
Ratings: 1/5

Episode 2 – Epic in Motion
Kimberly, having set out on his journey, realizes that he does not have sufficient funds to fight the evil god. Thus, in order to earn money, he becomes a mercenary and takes on the job of killing a giant spider that is terrorizing a village. However, the giant spider is too strong, and Kimberly finds himself on the brink of death…
Ratings: 2/5

Episode 3 – The Epic Appearance of Aron
Just before Kimberly is killed, he is saved by his childhood friend, Aron, who dispatches the spider with one deft slash. Aron attempts to convince Kimberly to ransack the village, but Kimberly’s foolish values prevent him from doing such a thing. As such, Aron beats Kimberly half to death, ransacks the village himself, and goes on his way. Kimberly wakes up to find the village destroyed and its inhabitants killed, and vows to kill Aron once and for all.
Ratings: 5/5

Episode 4 – Kimberly’s Epic Choice
Returning to the man who hired him to stop the giant spider, Kimberly is arrested and thrown in jail for the murder of the village, though in actuality Aron is to blame. In jail, Kimberly sorts out his thoughts, and decides that he will become a warrior of justice and light, one who spreads goodwill and inspires courage in others. He is then conveniently freed by a man who says that someone as noble as Kimberly could not have slaughtered a village, and is hired as the man’s bodyguard.
Ratings: 0.5/5

Episode 5 – To be Epic, or Not to be Epic
The man who freed Kimberly reveals himself to be Lord Benjamin of the Samsam family. Benjamin tells Kimberly that his land is under attack from a cruel and evil child who steals a grain of rice each day, and asks Kimberly to find, torture, mutilate and then kill the evil child. Convinced that he is doing the right thing, Kimberly seeks out the child, and finds out that the child is stealing the grain of rice to feed himself and his family. Now, Kimberly is stuck with a choice to make. To kill and hungry child who steals to survive, or to let the poor thing live…
Ratings: 2/5

Episode 6 – Doing the Epic
Kimberly tortures, mutilates and kills the child, then proceeds to do the same to the child’s family. None are spared.
Ratings: 5/5

Episode 7 – Epic Titles
Under the name of the noble Lord Benjamin Samsam, Kimberly continues to wreak havoc and destruction on the minions of evil. Hunting down numerous children, Kimberly violently kills them all, judging them to be guilty of crimes against mankind. For his deeds, Kimberly is given the title of Head Knight of the Samsam family. After receiving the title, Kimberly proceeds to kill Lord Benjamin and takes control of the Samsam family, all in the name of good and justice. Now, the young man has an army of his own to fight the forces of darkness.
Ratings: 3/5

Episode 8 – Epic Through the Night
Marching towards the kingdom of the Dark Lord Jim Bob Diggory at night in order to assassinate him righteously, Kimberly and his forces are set upon by none other than Aron, who proclaims himself to be the leader of the Dark Lord Jim Bob Diggory’s army. Aron then single-handedly wipes out Kimberly’s entire army, and challenges Kimberly to a duel.
Ratings: 5/5

Episode 9 – Aron the Epic
Aron beats the living stuffing out of Kimberly.
Ratings: 5/5

Episode 10 – Kimberly the Epic
Powered by justice, Kimberly turns the tables on Aron and defeats him. He then enters the castle of the Dark Lord Jim Bob Diggory, only to realize that he has come to the wrong castle, and is told by the gatekeeper that his arch nemesis is in another castle. Refusing to give up, in the power of love, Kimberly sets out to defeat the Dark Lord Jim Bob Diggory once and for all.
Ratings: 0/5